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| sell |
| 01.26.06 (5:01 pm) [edit] |
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sell sell
sell your body to the government
feel all the pain you've never felt
fight for reasons that aren't yours
fight for causes that aren't ours
psychotic thrills
and malaria pills
ne'er in your head a single thought
sweaty nights on a dirty cot
sand and dust chokes the
engine
but the war machine keeps on rollin
ne'er in your head a single thought
sweaty nights on a dirty cot
baghdad fireworks and shining stars
all the senators driving fancy cars
all the people blown apart
you can keep that purple heart
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| my beautiful let down |
| 11.05.05 (4:41 pm) [edit] |
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so beautiful, so pure
no one knew you were a whore
not once but twice
you made me a fool and that's not nice
so concerned with what others think
you didn't even blink
my beautiful let down
never been the same side of up
since then
all my hopes and my big dream
you only made it seem
you were going with it
more than just a litle bit
i just couldn't get over it
oh beautiful let down
mine no more
left lying on the floor
you came, you saw
thought you'd want more
the tiles cool my brow
i'll get up and walk again somehow
beautiful let down
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| beauty in simplicity |
| 01.27.05 (8:49 am) [edit] |
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a thousand stars in the iris of your eyes
it's the same glow we all know
the glow of purity
beauty in simplicity
uncomplicated unabashed
kiss me before the sun comes
or else i might decide to run
run to the sun of a foriegn land
an unknown hand
so hold me till the sun comes
and it will be ok
see i'm here today
you....... let....me
show you how i feel inside
let you know you are mine
only at night can my soul sing
the song of it's identity
when darkness strips to the truth
i am here with ......you
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| thinking |
| 11.15.04 (7:45 pm) [edit] |
thinking about people
i've lost in the end
some were more
most were just friends
oh how i loved them
as only a friend could
i couldn't do the things
that i knew i should
i couldn't help them
as they drifted away
so many things you mean
but never say
should i have tried
to hold those dear
comforted them
when they shed a tear
i know i have failed you
and i'll do it again
all i can do is hope
it all works out in the end
thinking about nothing
unclear images
without any form
maybe a novel idea
will be born
static in my stagnation
never wavering from course
unable to break myself
from my self scorn
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| that |
| 10.20.04 (12:15 am) [edit] |
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that was a song. it was pure fiction. it in no way reflects how i am feeling or my past however you take it. it was pure fiction and an attempt at creativity. thank you for all the 4907 reads. thank you
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| take away |
| 10.20.04 (12:09 am) [edit] |
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take this pain away
make her go away
see how i am left
laying face down in the dust
hurt me if you must
i'll get over it
all i have is not enough
not enough for me
and certainly not enough for you
not enough to be true
to the inner me
braid my hair
and release me from my chains
my soul lies in disrepair
so......
take this pain away
make her go away
see how i am left
laying face down in the dust
hurt me if you want
i'll get over it
you took all that i had
and i'm not even that mad
keep on asking for more
and that is all i will ever get
more is never enough
would you like to take me up on that bet
she took it all away
she took it all away
won't you take her away
won't you take her away
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| better way |
| 08.09.04 (7:13 pm) [edit] |
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two men walking talking
thinking of better days
one turns to the other and says
i think i found a better way
to learn, to love, to live
with myself
with my sin
within myself
the other replies "you fool"
it will always be the same
the problems are within your brain
you don't have to forgive yourself
for being yourself
forget the rest
it's just a bloody mess
"how did you learn the game?"
"the rules always change."
because i am you
and you are me
and we are one in two.
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| keep it ticken |
| 07.10.04 (3:55 pm) [edit] |
thrashing, writhing, moaning
the insomniac dreams
the twelve year flower
finally blooms
it's thorns abound
autumn winds rip
the last leaves away
swings childlessly creak
the blacktop bakes
the thief's breaths
steal second after second
proud parents eyes
do fleeting smiles grace
and TIME PASSES
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| more silliness from the book of nii |
| 07.04.04 (8:02 am) [edit] |
there once was a boy
who kicked everyone in the shin
when stopped and asked why
he would reply
because i am short
the moral: don't be short
and now for something completely different
strained
refrained
restrained
sustained
yet even more silliness from nii
little jane was walking to visit her keenu
her mother told her to watch out for
beebums and fentlors. she was so preoccupied
watching out for beebums and fentlors, she became lost.
and of course the beebums and fentlors ate her viscera.
moral: worry about the important stuff and then deal with little things as they come.
now for something kinda similar but not at all
you never hear what i say
i tell you three times
you just do it anyway
like bouncing a ball
the same ball the same wall
it is always the same
enough to drive a man insane.
and now let's check in will bob at the olympic hide and seek event. it is 3 years and 75 days in the running.
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| you're just going through the motions |
| 05.07.04 (8:18 pm) [edit] |
you're just going through the motions
not just faking emotions
painfully tormenting
completely unrelenting
all i want all i need
out of reach
guaranteed
this game you teach
is no fun
i've come undone
less than the whole
you stole my soul
you got what you came for
i'm on the ground
kick me a little more
till i don't make a sound
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| saturday |
| 05.05.04 (8:29 pm) [edit] |
saturday
another come and gone
never lasts very long
saturday
had to go out with the boys
make'n racket and noise
i know you never wanted to be alone
but i need some time on my own
you think i would have grown
you decided to stay
long enough to hear me play
saturday
another day come and gone
never lasts very long
saturday
had to go out with the boys
make'n racket and noise
you stayed and now
we are stronger than we were before
even if you are not sure
of the way to go
you don't have to go alone
saturday
another day come and gone
never lasts very long
saturday
had to go out with the boys
make'n racket and noise
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| plums |
| 04.26.04 (6:58 pm) [edit] |
the pain in your voice
the rage in your eyes
gets my fire going
i lit a candle in your chest
i'd really like to like you
i can't so i won't
if you have something better to do
do it and leave me alone
beautiful plums all over her body
full, blue purple ,ready to burst
the liquor makes my vision clear
my voice speak true
and this is what i say to you
i'd really like to like you
i can't so i won't
if yo have something better to do
do it and leave me alone
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| somebody else's whore |
| 04.22.04 (6:06 pm) [edit] |
time ticks by but the image is still clear
like the night sky by the ocean here
soft muted voices ring
the gulls the evening songs sing
the smell of old cloth
skin so soft
she was my back seat whore
she wanted me less and i wanted her more
it is such a shame
what is her name
sure hope she has a beautiful life
bet she is someone else's wife
my mind goes back
my eyes go black
i see the sun rise
with the tide
i just smile
wonder all the while
what is her name
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| easter |
| 04.13.04 (8:03 pm) [edit] |
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i think easter is one of the amusing times of the year. i mean we have rabbits and eggs which are known signs of fertility. how absurd for people to accept pagan rituals mixed with christianity. i mean hard line christians are ok with painting eggs and visiting the easter bunny. for few weeks i have been reading the bible. i am not very far into it. i went to church on easter. it was baptist church. iwas brought up catholic. but kinda fell away from religion over the years. well this preacher pissed me off to the highest level. he openly disrespected other religions, and peoples. i was appalled. i wanted to get up and denounce all he stood for. i don't think many people in his congregation read the bible or only parts they like. i have a few questions though , maybe some of you will help. if jesus was a jew and christians are followers of him then why aren't they jews? why don't christians follow the laws of the bible. only if it is convenient? why is marrying more than one woman illegal? why don't they still do sacrifices. and if they did would it be viewed as pagan or sacrilage? why do churches sponsor gambling? when this was in direct opposition to the teaching of jesus. if jesus is god then why do we have graven images of him. wouldn't that be breaking a commandment? as i read more of the bible the more i want to depose all these branches of christianity. if you want more to think on just ask and i will read some more. the bible is a gruesome book filled with war murder, torture, incest, and scandal.
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| SMELL, LICK, TASTE |
| 04.06.04 (9:23 pm) [edit] |
red blotches behind my eyes
your rythm, i'm hypnotized
the smell of your skin burned inside my mind
smell it and i seem to unwind
become unhinged
see everything red tinged
the beast takes over
feeling not very sober
lick the contour of your lips
cut short by the movement of your hips
taste of your skin, electricity
sends shivers right through me
nails running trails
over curve and crest
by neck and over breast
thoughts chopped and jagged
breath coarse and ragged
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| more, more, more |
| 04.05.04 (8:49 pm) [edit] |
the more i touch
the more i want
the more i see
i can never have
enough of you
and i feel
crushed inside
like a 20 car pileup
twisted, mangled
the more i touch
the more i want
the more i see
i can never have
enough of you
do you remember
what it was like?
there are so many ways
to show how i feel
they have all been used before
so i will remain silent
do you remember
like i do
the more i touch
the more i want
the more i see
i can never
have enough of you
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| clockwork |
| 04.05.04 (8:41 pm) [edit] |
like clockwork orange
eyes won't shut
ears won't close
and still the onslaught ensues
thrashing my head and more it comes
in my mind the metrinome swings
marking time as sands fall
time chews our bones
killing us away
another whore is born
ready to feed the masses
the red flows
the red flows like rivers
in my eyes
in my mouth
washes my soul
taints me wholely
i love it all
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| can't get it right |
| 04.02.04 (8:26 pm) [edit] |
i just can't get it right
no matter which way i turn
the doors are all closed
i'm lost in sea of shadows
join me for a drink
it will pass the time
waiting for the end of time
i have sat on my cot
i have cried lonely tears
thought about life slipping
slipping away from me
it's ok to hate me
if it makes you feel better
can't really stop it anyway
even if i tried
and i did
because i have fallen down a rabbit
hit my head the whole damn way down
wanting to land on the upside of down
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| to all |
| 04.02.04 (5:21 pm) [edit] |
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to all those who read my rantings thank you and know also that my personal feelings do not always reflect in what i write. most times i am inspired by a song or a phrase that just sticks. so please don't think too ill of me. or think i am some horribly depressed ball of distress.
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| lost |
| 03.30.04 (9:20 pm) [edit] |
i lost myself again today
seems to happen every now and then
hair dangles in the face
covering eyes
do you want my world of clay
and i am not the only one
i am not the only one
who doesn't get me
but i would give anything
i would do anything
to feel like i did yesterday
but when i come back
and everyone does
i won't be me
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| ponderous |
| 03.25.04 (6:13 pm) [edit] |
every motion bears the solitary downward pressure
each step brings me closer
closer to the whole
wherein i threw myself many years ago
looking up from a chasm the sky looks small
the moon shines down , down on my face
for an hour each night.
rain doesn't fall but it is ok
i have no place to go
when the winds blow i really don't know
all i know is the days pass and pass
but i look forward to tomorrow.
all i see al day is the sun and a few birds
but god do i look forward to it
i carry stones to make a way,
a way to climb out maybe.
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| Dadelus |
| 03.25.04 (5:38 pm) [edit] |
voice like a razor arcs over skin
flogged and beaten for percieved sin
Dadelus toils for for the king
trapped in a prison of his own making
long does his heart sing
exploring the depths of the unknown
curiousity will kill his offspring
blacken his skies, fate cruel crone
died did his son
never born was another one
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| Sad and Sorry |
| 03.21.04 (7:58 pm) [edit] |
sad and sorry don't even begin o touch upon the issue
i am sad that things are they way they are
sorry for the things i have done recently and far in the past
i only complicate people's lives including my own.
Do i secretly seek out this sort of complication?
do i always need my life to be in flux and chaotic
am i too possesive and that all i see i need to posses
do i need to go out and piss on all the fences i see
or is it something else something i haven't thought of
am i heading toward a beacon
a lighthouse of emotion
to fill me like the ocean
all i do know is that i am sad and sorry
to have shown someone a whiter light
a deeper ocean
a greener green
for now they can never go back to not knowing
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| tranquility shall be my watch word |
| 03.21.04 (1:26 pm) [edit] |
rage and distress shall flow over me
wash me clean me soothe me
the ripples shall dissappear
no sign of stones remain
no action will warrent a reaction
no slight, a return
search within myself for my center
my anchor to this reality
focus on my will to possess
my will to strive and exceed
what are my motivations
my mechanizations
my cogs and gears
my fuel
i shall requit my rage
tranquility shall be my watch word
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| angels and devils |
| 03.20.04 (8:29 am) [edit] |
shoulder angel go away
shoulder devil has work today
feel the anger envelope me
cover me so thoroughly
i hoped again and prayed today
prayed that i would find a way
a way back to who i was
a way back to both of us
inner self not quite right
never got to see the light
to see what the world had to sell
stuffed down in a little well
starved and suffered painfully
now it is what i wanted it to be
stunted gnarled and ugly
can you see to the real me
do you like what you see
do you like what you see really
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